Thank You - God the Mother

I felt all the more keenly that there are so many things to thank for in life.  One day, hearing my mom who has been suffering from a chronic disease fell with a thud, I hurried off to the hospital.  Bleeding heavily with the rupture of a blood vessel, she was helplessly lying on the bed in the emergency room.

All the way to the hospital, I didn’t know what to do at all but when I saw mom getting the IV injection, I could feel a little relieved.  My sister who first found mom falling in the living room in the early morning rushed to the hospital seemed so haggard.  I asked her to bring some toiletries and clothes from home and then I sat next to my mom.  Looking at her sleeping face as white as a sheet, I couldn’t stop shedding tears in vain.  Since her heavy bleeding, she continued to receive transfusion while she was in hospital.  Without blood for transfusions, she would have come across something wrong.

At that moment, some news contents I watched the other day suddenly occurred to me.  The news was that in spite of falling blood supplies with the decreasing number of blood donors in this hot summertime, they thank The International We Love You Foundation for its hundreds of members took the head in the blood donation movement.

I truly give thanks to God for allowing me to realize the true love of Heavenly Mother and to have an opportunity to practice the love for others.

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Forgetting at an instant

 

For a long time, my mom all alone raised us; four daughters.

Looking back at those years, I don’t know how she managed to raise us up all by herself.

I cannot even conceive the idea of raising four children all by myself, but I guess it was all possible for her because she was my mom.  

Few years ago, my mom had a big surgery.

Though she had to rest, because of the wretched circumstances, she just had to work strenuously.

Though we all grew up and became adults, since we were busy, we didn’t know or forgot how strenuous it was for her.

When mom comes home from work, she starts doing the housework right away.

After ten, she comes to my room and talks about her daily routine.

She isn’t a talk-active person, but these days she frequently stops by and talks to me a lot.

I really wanted to be nice to her, but I was exhausted. So I tend to listen to her vacantly.

Seeing how I reacted, she would quickly end her conversation and leave my room.

When this happens, I feel sorry for her.

I always make a resolution that I wouldn’t repeat this mistake again, but it happens to me all the time.

One day, seeing her leaving my room, her shoulders seemed so small.

When I and my sisters were young, she didn’t have a moment to talk with us.

That is why we always went to her to talk with her.

Whenever we did, she never showed how tired she was.

She always listened to all what we have said, but I didn’t.

Few days ago, my mom said that she had pain in her arms and legs.

I just told her to “go to the hospital,” and when she repeatedly said that every day, I started to ignore.

When I started to think lying down my bed, it reminded me that my mom had a surgery for cancer.

I forgot that she wasn’t a healthy person at all.

I felt ashamed that I just told her to go to the hospital.

During break time in my working place, I started to search for good medicine and food for my mom.

Thinking that I simply just needed to turn on the computer and type some words, I felt so sorry.

The reason how I could grow up without any trouble was because of my mom’s sacrifice.

And I…

I always forgot about her when I turned my back, went to work, and while I was having a hard time.

At this moment, Heavenly Mother is also next to me, praying for me continuously every day, every second.

But I always forgot.

Just because of the world that I am living in, because I was busy, because I was exhausted…

I just forgot about Her.

About Heavenly Mother who came down to this earth, who is sacrificing for me.

I truly want to be a filial daughter for my mom and to my Heavenly Mother.

I want to be a filial daughter who gives joy, happiness, and smiles.

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The Acrylic Board and the Cutting Mat

Preparing for the Last Day of the Feast of Tabernacles, we all divided into teams to create invitations to be handed out to all families, acquaintances, and neighbors, for them to receive the water of life given freely by Heavenly Mother.

Seeing brothers and sisters cutting papers on top of an acrylic board and a cutting mat, the Overseer asked us a question. 

"What's the difference between this acrylic board and the cutting mat?"

We all simply answered that the material, the name, or the size, is different.

Then he said,

"Look at them carefully. They have been numerously cut with knives. One of them seems to be damaged that we can even see with our own eyes, but you can't see any damages on the other. Don't you think they resemble our hearts and our Mother's?"

Indeed…

Though She has been hurt from numerous thorns of sins, Mother would never show how hurt She was...

She just bears and endures silently.

Even hearing small advises from our brothers and sisters we would show how hurt we are.

Our hearts are all full with faults.

That doesn't mean that the cutting mat is undamaged.

If you look at it closely, there are small and deep cuts made to it.

But outwardly, it seems to be clean and undamaged.

I only considered my pain, just wanted to be served, and didn't want to have a broad mind for my brothers and sisters.

Repenting for what I've committed, I made a resolution that I would be a child who bears and endures; resembling Heavenly Mother.

Considering the teachings for my salvation as a burden, I always complained, blamed, didn't realize brothers' and sisters' consideration, and envied.

Didn't endure nor gave thanks and just showed off my hardships just like the acrylic board.

With all of these, I scraped my Mother's heart.

Despite of all what I have done, She still bears and embraces, the children all covered with thorns.

Mother...

I now want to be a child who resembles you.

The path of pain and sacrifice that you have walked, I also want to consider it to be the path that I must walk, and follow you with thanks.

With an arrogant mind, I would have never received the blessings of the Holy Spirit.

That is why Mother gave me a realization through this small routine.

I give earnest thanks to Heavenly Mother for allowing me this realization.

I want to be a child with a broad mind who can cover up even the faults of our brothers and sisters.

I love You Mother.

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The Mother and the Bee

One hot summer day, a little boy was playing on the backyard.

Didn’t know why, but a huge bee was buzzing furiously on top of his head.

The more the child tried to hide from it, the bee flew over him more.

His fear went to extreme, so he went to his mother’s arms and cried.

Seeing her child with fear, the mother quickly covered his body with her skirt, and covered his face with her hands.

Then the bee stung the mother’s arm instead of the child’s, and the poisonous sting was stuck in her arm, so deep enough that it couldn’t be removed.

Afterwards, the bee couldn’t fly further away and was crawling on the mother’s arm.  

Bearing the pain, the mother said,

“My dear, don’t fear and come out. I have placed myself instead of you. Since the bee hurt me, it can’t hurt you no more.”

Source from: ‘Resting Place Volume 2’ PSC

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Solely for Her Children

In my childhood, I surely was a troublemaker who was considered as ten naughty children.

Every day I tripped, fell, and broke things around me that I shouldn't have.

I was full of curiosity and couldn't just stand without knowing the things that really wanted to know.

My mom always worried that I might hurt myself badly.

She even worried that I might become crooked, so she really took good care of me.

Growing up well under the shade of my “mom,” I was badly caught in the net of “puberty.”

I heard puberty doesn't last longer than one or two years, but didn't know why mine lasted for four years.

My mom tried to persuade me and did her very best.

The more that she tried to take care of me, the more that I tried to be crooked.

But my long roaming years eventually ended by my mom’s love.

After many years had passed by I asked her,

“Mom, how did you feel when I was roaming and wanted to be crooked?”

“It was my first time I wanted to die!”

I was really surprised.

A strong mom like her wanted to die because of her child?

I somewhat felt what parents’ love towards their children was like.

Mom still worries that I might be crooked again.

If I committed the same mistake and gave her a hard time, I surely would be a bad daughter.

I would never want to do anything that would give my mom a hard time.

Still now, Heavenly Mother is hurt by her thousands and more than ten thousands of children every day.

Despite of all that, She never hates us and prays for us worrying that we might be caught by Satan’s evil schemes.

Heavenly Mother truly solely lives for children.

I would never forget Heavenly Mother’s love and proclaim that love to the whole world.

I truly want to solely live for our Heavenly Mother.

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A meal

 “…the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” (Isa 53: 5)

 When I was having lunch after reading this verse recently, a thought flitted through my mind.

 “Do I, as a mere sinner deserve to have this wonderful meal?”

On the table, there were boiled rice, some various side dishes and even delicious stew. What about Father Ahnsahnghong?  He would never have had even a chance to eat one single bowl of warm rice in this world.  Thinking of Heavenly Father who would have preached in the mountain, alleviating His hunger with hardtack and streams, my eyes suddenly ached with tears.

 Then I realized that just as Father was whipped for me, such a prodigal sinner, all hunger and raggedness were suffered by Him as well.

Even though I always eat square three meals a day, I have never thought about where this peace and comfort we are enjoying right now might come from.  Without the sacrifice and love of God the Father, and God the Mother. We never exist right now.

Our Father Ahnsahngong! I am sorry but give thanks to You.  Even though You always starved, You used to give something to Your children.  Father always loves me with sincerity, even though I continue to commit a sin against Him.

Now, as Father asked us to do, I would like to become children of God, who follows Mother until the end wherever She goes.   I intensely miss Father.

I hope we could be with Father and Mother soon.

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Mom’s dream

In my mom’s cell phone, my number is saved in the name of “my dream”.
One day, I asked her with some curiosity, “Mom, why did you save my number like that?” “My girl is mom’s everything.  Her life is my life and she is my dream and that is why I did it.”

When I feel pleased, so does she, and when I feel sad, she feels more sorrowful.
I must be mom’s everything and her only hope for sure.

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Love is “Waiting”

 

When I was in elementary school, I always tried to memorize the multiplication tables after supper.

Day by day, I would go and on memorizing after school.

Finally, it was the day when I succeeded.

My parents were full of smiles, and I was really proud of myself.

Since I was a slow learner, being anxious, I would always complain to my parents.

My parents would then just smile and pat my shoulders.

Looking at my exam papers full of red marks just like a red shower, they would have been more anxious than me thinking, "What if my child is way behind others?"

But they would never push me to study, but waited until I did well by myself.

Thinking of how my parents in my childhood, I believe my parents' life was an “endless waiting.”

When I was in my mother's womb, they waited for me to be born for a time of 10 months.

Even when I first started to walk, when I first started to talk, they waited.

I would cry day and night and would have annoyed them, not wanting to be apart from them for even a moment.

Though I got sick frequently making them always feel anxious, all that they remembered about me was a cute little baby toddling and saying "mommy or daddy."

Though I was slow and lacking compared to other children, they would think it's their entire fault and felt sorry.

They would always take care of me as an apple of their eyes, fed me the best food, and always prayed for me to grow well.

Parents call this kind of love, "the elders' love for the young," or "parental love."

The source of this love comes from the continuous time of waiting, and from the infinite belief towards their child.

Our Heavenly Parents, who came down to this earth to find Their lost children...

Our Heavenly Parents' love is much more than that.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isa 49:15)”

Like how it says, Heavenly Mother willingly came with lowly clothes of a sinner.

Heavenly Parents' love is so deep that they would never give up though the children are slow to realize. Their children found in the long time of waiting, for 6,000 years.

They would always cover the children's sins, always give teachings full of love, guide them to the best ways, and always praise them even for their small efforts.

Though They would never have a day without worry or concern towards Their children, They would earnestly pray for them all night long, always firmly believing that their immature children would realize.

Through all this, they would forget Their safety.

Thinking about the heart of my Heavenly Parents, I look back, if I was truly a good daughter.

Though Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother is pleased seeing Their children uniting with each other, rather embracing my brothers and sisters with love, didn't I push them away from me just because they were different from me?

Though Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother always waiting and endured, rather waiting for my brothers and sisters to realize, didn't I just gave up on them?

Thinking about my past, I can't lift up my head being so sorry and embarrassed to my Heavenly Parents.

Though I said I knew Their hearts, those were the days which I never really tried to put Their words into actions.

I truly thank Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother for loving me, and waiting for a long time for this weak child to realize.

From now on, I will love my brothers and sisters, even the parts they are lacking, understand, help them, and walk the way of the gospel work which God is pleased with.

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Maternal Love in the Snowstorm

One man was traveling on a horse.

It was an awfully cold weather in the snowstorm.

It didn’t even take a while until he met a woman finding her way to her husband; carrying her child on her back.

Pitying them, the man got them on the horse.

Despite of herself being cold, the woman covered her child with her outer garment.

Though the child was sleeping cozily in its mother’s arms, the mother was about to freeze to death.

Her body started becoming stiff and was nearly falling asleep.

The mother surely was about to die…

Noticing this, the man suddenly got her off the horse and took her child and went off.

The mother couldn’t stop but ran after the man screaming, to give her child back.

The man wouldn’t listen and just kept on going.

At a certain point, the man stopped the horse.

When the mother was catching her breath, the man asked, “You’re not cold anymore, are you?”

Then the man took them on the horse and they safely arrived to the place where they were heading to.

Source from : ‘A letter written with today’s happiness’ SSU

Thought I Could Just Become a Mother

Just like the monsoon rain pouring during the hot summer, heart aching rain flows continuously in my heart.

My child is sick.

I cannot raise my head up, thinking that it’s all my fault.

I thought I could just become a mother.

I thought being a mother was the easiest task.

That’s why I always wanted to become a mother.

Delivering a beautiful baby, raising, and educating well just like others; were my hope.

But in reality, it wasn’t easy at all.

Mother’s life was her child’s shadow.

Even when I wanted to eat something, my child was first.

Even when I wanted to do something, my child was always next to me.

Though I wanted to have a day off, there was a pile of laundry.

And I always had to be my child’s friend.

Mother was just a mother…

Though there is an exhausting, tiresome, disregarding day, the mother needed to follow after the child like his shadow.

I was really a foolish mother.

I didn’t notice that my child was sad, when he was.

I didn’t notice that my child was hurt, when he was.

I just thought my child would grow up on his own.

But that was just my wrong idea.

My child is always anxious…

He thirsts for love, just like when he gulps water in thirst.

As I didn’t notice, that was my fault.

From now on, I would become a true mother.

From now on, I will plant the existence of his mother in my child’s heart, and show him hope.

And for his mother, today is the day to be born again.

And for her child, today is the day to be born again.

I look up in the skies…

It’s a beautiful cloudless autumn sky, and cool wind enters my heart.

They are all gifts given by our Heavenly Mother.

“Cheer up my child, everything’s going to be all right. Cheer up.”

“Yes, Mother.”

I shout, “Animo, animo!” aloud inside my heart.

Our Mother always first looks after the child who is sick.  

Our Mother always first embraces the child who is having the hardest time.

Out Mother always first embraces the most foolish child.

Just like how She did, I, a foolish mother, would also do likewise.

Just like how Mother looked after our hearts, I would now like to consider my child’s heart.

Thinking of Mother who is constantly praying in Her place, I would like to look after my child with Her heart.

I think of the day when my child and I am embracing in Her heart.

I thank Mother for sending my child for me, a foolish mother.