Father’s Cap

My father raised us, three kid son behalf of my mother who died early.

One day, my father started to go out wearing my younger brother’s baseball cap. Ever afterwards he wore that cap.

That cap was all worn out so my brother just threw it away around a corner of his room.

Then suddenly, my father had a hypo pharyngeal cancer.

After a big surgery and while he was getting a treatment, he had his hair shaved. I guess he kind of felt shy with his hair, so he asked me to buy a hat for him.

I thought that he would like the usual baseball cap that he wore, so I bought one for him.

Thinking that he would surely like the cap, I gave it to him. But my father said,

"Why didn't you buy agentle man like hat... Baseball cap is childish...”

So I told him,

"This is the favorite usual cap that you wore.”

I just replied to him thinking that he was cold-hearted without realizing my heart.

But then my father said,

"Well, that was the only hat in the house...”

Listening to his words, I was so sorry and my heart ached so much.

My father didn't wear the baseball cap because he liked it, but it was because he couldn't afford to buy a new hat raising his children all by himself.

I guess children don’t consider parents’ heart even though they are fully grown.

They just believe in what they can see, and just want to be praised...

Feeling sorry, I swallow up my tears.